What doesn't kill us makes us stronger..

July 20, 1991 was a tragic day for our family. My brother Tim (18 years old)  had gone to the desert with a friend to ride ATV's. They were on a leisurely ride, when my brother's axle broke on his bike. The axle severed his femoral artery and he bled to death. There was no alcohol, no drugs, just quite simple a tragic accident. For those of you who don't know the story that is it in a nutshell. That day will never be forgotten, nor will our parents ever be the same. It's the one day in my life I will never forget where I was, or what I was doing, time stood still. How were we going to make it through? But more so than that how would my mom make it through. Well she has struggled and struggled over the years, and will never make it through to the point where she is healed. The scars are forever there and the heart is forever broken. My father is stoic and strong..but really doesn't need to be. Our family is so close yet was torn apart. Mom and dad separated and everyone had to pick themselves up and do it.

The tragedy changes the way you view life..it lessens the way you love. There is always guard there, trying to cover the wound that is open for eternity. No one's problems seem big enough to really matter, these are the daily struggles you deal with in a loss like this. I have tried to soften my approach in life to make people feel like their problems matter, but it has been a struggle.  There are family occasions, weddings, parties, babies, puppies, and ALWAYS someone missing. I would give anything for him to have met Ron, for him to have met the dogs, the nieces, the sister in law. It's easy for some to say he is always there, it harder to believe it. As I have watched my mother struggle over the years, I have learned to endure the pain, and to quit the fight. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, too short to be in bad relationships, too short to be unhappy, too short to work with people you don't like. It is simple ...Life is too short PERIOD. We get caught up and complain, about this and that, but frankly the truth is I wish my brother was here to bitch about with me...unfortunately he never had the opportunity. So just remember when things seem tragic, or hard...there is always something worse, or someone suffering more. It's easy to lose perspective of what's important, so maybe this was the lesson from the tragedy, we need to try hard and love deep, and don't forget to just say the three simple words I LOVE YOU daily. I remember when my brother was leaving for the desert that day, we passed on the stairs and said BYE have fun...I never thought that would be the last time, but I'll tell you there is never a time when Ron and I part that we don't say I LOVE YOU ..because God knows...it may be the last time.